A simple sentence that is far from simple when you live with chronic pain. It is not an advent calendar with a particular magic date in mind like a child anxiously waiting for Santa. It is not dealing with a singular life problem and working through that problem to the end. It is not counting the days until your next doctor’s appointment with high hopes that this time they will “get it” and your pain will magically disappear. It is so much more – bigger and smaller at the same time. One day at a time for those who do not suffer chronic pain is hard enough. But one day at a time with the added dimension of chronic pain is truly a challenge.

For those fortunate enough to live relatively pain free, there is routine and predictability. They can plan what they need and/or what they want to do today, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year without even a momentary thought whether their body will cooperate. There are challenges, curveballs, and stressors every single day, but pain is not one of them. Occasionally they come down with the flu, a cold, an injury, or accident that disrupts their plans and completely derails them. But most of the time, their bodies function well and allows them to move through their challenges and carry out their plans – one day at a time. That is not to imply that life without chronic pain is simple, life is hard. They do have the luxury of looking forward to upcoming events, vacations, get togethers and family outings with excitement without even a passing thought of pain. They can work through their struggles without conscious thought that pain may sabotage their efforts however when it does happen, it devastates them. One day at a time in their world is natural and possible.     

Not so for the Chronic Pain Warrior. We have goals, dreams, plans, responsibilities, struggles and challenges just as they do. The difference lies in the additional multiple layers of complexity, uncertainty, stress, confusion, anxiety, cost, disappointment, isolation, fear, and pain that are ever present in the warrior’s world. It is not an occasional disruption. It is a daily fact.  To the Chronic Pain Warrior “one day at a time” carries a completely different meaning.

The concept of “one day at a time” is simple enough for those who do not live with the constant scream of chronic pain but tweaking the phrase makes it much more doable for warriors. One – check. One is enough. At a time – check. It is always easier to tackle things singularly. But day? 24 hours? That is a lot. That is often far too much for warriors. So, let’s make this phrase more realistic. Let’s leave a blank to be filled in depending on the day, the situation, and the pain. A warrior’s phrase is “one ___ at a time”. Any time increment is perfect provided it is in the future.

Other situations call for “one hour at a time”. If you are feeling particularly anxious, extra frustrated, at an event or when you have a task that must be completed even though you cannot focus, take it one hour at a time. Time yourself and take that hour to slow things down. It can be quite helpful when your body is screaming but it is too soon to take your medication. One hour out of 24 for you that is just for you. It is a proven way to help yourself – help yourself. Make a tea and watch something funny that you have saved for the hour you need it most. Go outside and watch the clouds, birds, ants, – nature. You don’t have to leave your own patio, balcony, or yard. Nature can be found everywhere if you really look. Play with a pet. Read a story to a child. Call a friend but not to talk about your pain. Getting through that hour is another win. Win’s matter! Be proud.

Just as traditional warriors learn, practice, build confidence, have an arsenal of weapons, have contingency plans in battle, takes each threat/situation as it comes and responds accordingly, so must the Chronic Pain Warrior. Accepting that some days will be one minute at a time for most of the day is a valuable skill. Being able to adapt to sudden changes alters the plan and may require you to transition from one hour to one minute at a time. Some days taking one minute at a time will allow you to progress to one hour at a time and with practice, learning and perseverance progress to one day at a time. Practice. Recognize your wins. Be proud of your accomplishment.

Every day in the life of a warrior is different with different challenges, tolerances, and situations. A well-trained warrior works to prepare for all of it and never loses sight of the need to hone their skills and their own ability to be flexible with the increment of time to fill in the blank that best fits at the time.

One ___ at a time! It is a great place to start, and it will serve you well. It has made a big difference in my life.  

1. One day at a time.
2. Focus on what you can control.
3. Do not compare your journey to others.
4. Allow yourself to grieve and feel the feelings but don’t get stuck there.
5. Make time to rest and self reflect. Prioritize self care – physically and mentally.
6. Concentrate on what you CAN do and what you DO enjoy. Seek joy every day.
7. Accept that challenges and setbacks will happen.
8. Embrace fear. Be prepared. Be YOU.
9. Determine your “Why” and “For Who”.
10. Open your mind and learn. Seek reliable experienced sources of learning.
11. Practice and work hard on your strategies – practice with dedication like a warrior.
12. Live your life as a warrior from the crack of dawn to midnight.
13. Never forget there is more to you than pain.
14. Find your village, your safe place, “your CWTCH”

Wishing you a “CWTCH” kind of day

Barb